The Next Engine: Beyond Campaign Thinking

Is there a more painful experience than business travel? Root canals, maybe. Actually, no, you have access to medical grade drugs for that experience. I’ll try to keep this on the “non rant” side of posts but the reality is airlines, hotels and rental cars could be the (3) worst industries of all time. Here’s a story of my day thus far, additionally, for the Lost fans in the house, I’ll include some flash-forwards to keep the story interesting.

It’s 9:52AM in Detroit, the booking agents are telling people that all flights are on time so if you’re running late due to the snow and weather issues, you’ll miss your flight, thus rebooking them to standby on later flights. That’s where the fun starts. Because when you get to your gate you learn that your original flight was in fact delayed and you could have made it just fine, but thanks to the friendly gate agent, your seat has been given to someone else who was on standby. But, they say, I have seat 27B, an aromatherapy-infused seat in the rear of the plane. A great execution of the airline’s vision statement. For more on this, check out Arthur’s post from a few weeks ago. If you like fiction, read this.

At some point today I’ll arrive in Kansas City and be greeted by our friends at the rental car company “who tries harder”. In doing so, I’ll be escorted onto a dirty, smelly bus, be driven erratically down a bumpy and loosely paved road, then be given the preferred treatment and handed the keys of a 2007 import SUV with 85,450 miles on it. That SUV will break down. No one will answer the phone when I call for help as they’ll be trying harder to help someone else. I’ll get a gift card in the mail for $15 off my next rental for the inconvenience. Here’s another vision statement to chew on.

And lastly, the mecca of travel, rest. I can’t wait to check in to the hotel and learn that I’ve been upgraded to a suite due to my loyalty. Here’s the best part, my room key for room 3248, the last room on the longest hallway of the 32nd floor, won’t work. I’ll get to re-indulge in pure luxury as I walk back down the artistic hallway inspired by circa 1932 Des Moines. They’ll give me a working key and I’ll go back to my room. The gentleman already sleeping it will be delighted to see me. For kicks, give this a gander.

Translation, the travel experience sucks. Fix it. Please. And then advertise that you’ve fixed it. Not vice versa. Don’t tell me you know how to fly and it shows. Don’t try harder. Just fix it.

Tags: marketing, travel